Anat Baniel method of Feldenkrais in India

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May 12, 2010

Okay, this is what I have been up to these days. Nisarga’s development still seems behind schedule and the attitude of his pediatrician is wait and see. That seems fine, since he isn’t ill or unhappy, but I was getting concerned about his lack of movements.

A lot of research online led me to discover the Feldenkrais method and then the Anat baniel method for children.What I liked was the attitude of sensitivity to the child’s comfort and the focus on creating learning experiences rather than training or therapy. I was eager to have this for Nisarga, but there aren’t any practitioners in India. Not to be stopped, I have turned my considerable aptitude for learning toward this and learned through reading and teaching materials purchased online.

I tried to understand the principles and used the abundant videos on YouTube to see example after example of them in action and started applying these learnings to assist Nisarga. It started showing results almost immediately. I felt encouraged and worked further, helping Nisarga to roll over and gain neck control.

Then, I became complacent, till I realized that he is now 8 months old and still not sitting or crawling, and have been working with him gain for the last few days. Again, I am encouraged to see that within four days he learned to hold his back straighter, sits with very little support, uses two hands to play with toys and as of today, has started crawling – all of which he was not able till four days ago.

What began as a disappointment over lack of access to practitioners is leading to me becoming a practitioner!I am not a certified practitioner, but I would be happy to work with other children who need help with motor development. I am not promising any competence and of course, if, unlike me, you can fly abroad and get those experts to work with your child, its best. But if that is not possible for you, I dare say that this may be worth a shot. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t harm for sure. But if it does… the changes in Nisarga in the last four days are miraculous.

Of course, in an ideal world, I will be able to afford to fly abroad to learn when Nisarga is older. Or, there may be other practitioners who begin working in Mumbai…

Categories: Anat Baniel Method, Feldenkrais, baby development, development.

Encourage rolling over

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April 5, 2010

Many children these days roll over late.  Nisarga is one of them. Its not that he can’t. He just doesn’t seem interested.

He has rolled over from his tummy to his back and vice versa more than a few times. He can. But he is content to lie how he is. I must admit that I have some concerns over his muscle tone, particularly when I went and discovered that he has many symptoms of mild hypotonia. But his doctor is not overly concerned, and I dislike labels anyway, so I am simply plodding along, helping him to do more, unless the doctor suggests that there is a problem, which she clearly doesn’t think at the moment.

Anyway, here are some things I tried to encourage him to roll over:

  • Tummy time – the god of all motor development. This can’t be over stressed. It is an opportunity for him to try doing things with his body by using his limbs to move in gravity.
  • Variations on tummy time, like on an exercise ball, incline, rolled towel under armpits, etc.
  • I support his movements by helping him move in the direction he is looking in. This may mean bringing over his hip or shoulder, etc.
  • Alternating interaction and alone time – in nice chunks of time, say fifteen minutes at least.
  • Propping his bottom up slightly when on his back, to encourage him to lift his legs and catch his feet. This is a good position for him to be tempted into rolling over.
  • Sitting at his head and speaking, encouraging, giving toys, etc, so that he has to turn to watch me.
  • Play by turning his body from side to side. The trick is to roll him when his body is moving with the movement – for example, arms coming over if I’m rolling him by his hips or legs, or hips turning if I’m rolling him from his shoulders or arms. Initially, it takes him a while to go with the movement, but after a few rolls, I can roll him from side to side really fast, and he is totally with the movement and enjoying it and asking for more. Don’t do this for too long, even if your baby seems to be loving it.
  • Rolling and bouncing on an exercise ball (roll the ball, not the baby and bounce the baby, not the ball :D )
  • Take a very soft scarf and drop it onto the baby’s tummy. Nisarga brings his arms and feet up and kind of hugs it and often rolls in his ecstace. This works specially well if the baby is not wearing clothes and can feel the light and soft material against the tummy.

Other things that may be possible are sessions in a swimming pool,

Categories: baby development, development, milestone.

Signing wave at less than three months?

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November 30, 2009

Okay, I think this guy is a budding signer. But then I think he’s awesome at everything, so….

I’d been showing him the sign for wave (among many other signs). Most of the time, he just stares blankly and there is no way to know if he even is getting anything out of it. Other times, he gives these delighted grins because he likes me making nice, exaggerated actions. Nothing remotely like comprehension.

And then he goes and does something that totally blows me away. I was showing him words on the computer, and when the word wave was read out, he opened his fingers wide. Okay, not what we call a wave, but exactly what happened with milk happened thi time. On some unconscious level, I must have realized he was making that action with regard to “wave”, because I spoke with him as though he was doing it on purpose.

That was just babble.

Then, I was fooling around with him, and I waved my hand around, and he opened his fingers wide again.

Then this morning, when his massage woman was leaving, we do this thing where she says by to him, and I get him to stick his tongue out. He did it. She kept saying “ta-ta”, and nothing.

Later, I was telling my MIL about how I think he signs wave at times, and the minute I said wave, he opened his fingers wide again!!!

Not bad for my smart baby *brag* He will be three months old after two days.

So apparently, he understands the word “wave” and the action as opening his hand (haven’t really seen him waving it), but doesn’t understand its meaning. Doesn’t understand that we wave bye to people – guess why? We’ve never waved bye to people – I only show him the signs – I don’t use them for him….. He also doesn’t understand “ta-ta” is the same as wave.

So, what I need to do is wave hi and bye to people myself for him to see the context for his new trick.

Categories: baby development, baby sign language.

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How much teaching is too much?

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November 21, 2009

In my eagerness to create the best world for my baby, I haunt online places for growth and development regularly. Forums are some of these. A common factor I find in these places is how much parents get their children to do. A real life friend of mine has a son who does a whole load of things – music, dance, chess, football, tennis, advanced mathematics, 5 languages ……

It makes me pity todays child who gets objectified into the canvas of the parent’s ambition. Sure, the modern thinking is to make learning fun. Yet, at the end of a day in Disney world, I do get tired. In the case of this friend, they speak Hindi, Marathi and English at home. In addition to that, she “exposes” him to French and German. And she is not alone. I hear echoes all over the forums for parent discussions.

I’ve noticed that there is a lot of attention paid to teaching babies second and third languages, etc. It makes sense if you speak those. For example, English, Marathi, Hindi and Kannada are spoken in our home, so baby will eventually end up understanding and communicating in them all. Or I can understand a family not usually speaking English at home making efforts to speak it around their child and supplementing it with lessons or other “exposure”. But why would I make such huge efforts to teach a language I don’t even know myself? What’s the point? How is it functional for communication?

The way I imagine things panning out is that as long as I can sustain exposure to the sources of the alien language, the baby will acclimatize to it. Once he is older and the exposure stops or fades when other more relevant and immediate learning and time needs come in, the “use it or lose it” will happen anyway. I don’t think that teaching for the first couple of years a language the child doesn’t get anything done from using (considering how daily contact is not in it, making it dysfunctional for communication most of the time) is going to keep the language alive in his mind for life. So then why?

Also, I’m looking at the impact of our overambition on our children. Whether we make it play or not, it is a constant bombardment of stimulation. If I have to expose my child to language, maths, sign language, creative activities, physical play, ….. when is the time to stand and stare?

I’m a very laid back person and do a huge amount of stuff naturally with Nisarga. Not much fazes me. But I get the jitters thinking of exposing a child to a “learning environment”, labeling it fun and making him accept all these alien things. And I hate the word exposing – you expose objects. People should have the respect of being offered a choice – you introduce, suggest…. Give respect, get respect. Youd child is learning more from how you are with him than he is from what you do with him.

But then, my idea of parenting is very attachment not only in the advertised manner, but emotionally too. I am perfectly okay with the baby clinging to me all the time, not being friendly with new people he meets, developing in his initial years with constants shared with his most trusted people. I find it a strange world where we make our kids independent when they are dependent, and then when they are exerting their independence as they grow up (teens onwards), we wish they would be closer to us. Plain unnatural. Ever heard of a baby needing to be taught to want closeness and safety of its mother/other close people? It is the “teaching to be social” and forced entry to the unfamiliar that breaks those bonds before they are ready to stretch. Once the child is vulnerable in a new situation and grows up fast to cope, what do they need the emotional side of their parent for?

You objectify the child, and the child slowly starts seeing you as a facility rather than person.

Ever heard of a baby needing to be taught to want closeness and safety of its mother/other close people? It is the “teaching to be social” and forced entry to the unfamiliar that breaks those bonds before they are ready to stretch. Once the child is vulnerable in a new situation and grows up fast to cope, what do they need the emotional side of their parent for?
You objectify the child, and the child slowly starts seeing you as a facility rather than person.

I’m aware a lot of my personal value judgments influence how I see this issue, but I find it remarkably like training a circus lion to jump through a flaming loop. Sure, a good trainer will make it fun, but a child needs to absorb the familarity of the “trusted” and the okayness of shying away from the “other” to be emotionally anchored in his own self-worth.

If a majority of the attention, enjoyment and appreciation a child gets is to teach something or the other or for health, etc. I am enabling an unfortunate belief in the child. I am important when I learn things. I am important when I do more and more things. I believe that if I do it too much, I will cause Nisarga to stop enjoying anything that doesn’t involve doing something, learning something or embracing every new challenge coming his way.

I think an important part of Nisarga’s upbringing is to be picking and choosing. What is immediately necessary is a priority. All else is a choice, and preferrably led by him. The day he shows curiosity about how different people in the world communicate if not in the languages he knows, is the day I’ll “expose” him to what they sound like, and if it interests him, we can take things from there. Otherwise, I’ll be happy knowing that we can communicate well with each other, and he can express himself and comprehend the world around him enough to be functional (self-sufficient is something he can decide for himself). Functional being defined by him being okay with the state of things.

If we move to France and he feels alone, I might help him learn French as a way of communicating with people. Otherwise, I’ll wait for him to show interest. If he doesn’t, that’s fine too. It will be one language more in a list of infinite languages that he doesn’t know. Big deal!

What I’m curious about is where do you as a parent draw the line? How much is too much?

How do we manage our desires and dreams with respect for the individuality of our child?

Categories: baby development, development, learning languages.

Two month old using sign language

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November 19, 2009

Okay, Nisarg is definitely using sign language. I’d thought so earlier.

Since then, he’s signed “milk” a couple of times more. I’d been trying to get a video, but he does it rather absently, and when I approach with my phone in hand, he starts interacting with me, waving and sucking his fist. Finally, I was able to capture the tail end of it as he got hungry when my mother-in-law was holding him….. Its not very clear, he does it just once, but check out his right hand. He was doing it with both when I came close and stopped :(

Things got ugly real fast after I shot this. We had a crying session. I guess he didn’t appreciate me just sitting there watching him when I could feed him.
He does it quite well. Maybe I’ll get a better video in a day or two.

Categories: baby development, baby sign language, infant communication, proud mama.

Two month old signing milk?

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November 19, 2009

Okay, its likely that I’m over reacting, but twice (for sure, and once unsure) since yesterday evening, we’ve seen Nisarg opening and closing his fist deliberately – the sign for milk. Both times I responded by offering to feed him, and he was hungry and fed well.

I show him the baby signing time video often because its bright and has music and stuff. He enjoys the music, and watches on and off. I had never thought he was paying attention. Perhaps he isn’t. I also do the sign for milk while I’m feeding him. That is something he definitely notices, as he is always looking intently at me as he feeds. I think he has realized that the sign for milk is accompanied by or followed by a feed.

Now, the question is if this is a coincidence or deliberate?

Everything I’ve read about baby sign language indicates that babies don’t start signing till they are 6 months old, as they don’t have that kind of coordination till then. On the other hand, Nisarg is definitely opening and closing his hands when he is hungry. It is not a very proper opening and closing – more like an uncurling of his fingers and curling back – neither does he make a proper fist, nor does he make his fingers completely straight.

It is quite likely that I’m imagining things.

On the other hand, a friend who runs a developmental toys library made an insightful comment when I told her about Nisarg letting me know when he wants to pee. She said, “They are telling us a great many things all through. It is about how observant and intuitive we are.” She thought it was a sign of my sensitivity and attention that I picked up his cues and we had a day without wetting a single diaper.

So I like to think that Nisarg is making the sign for milk. Whether he is actually trying to tell me, or simply hungry and remembers that sign as associated with feeding, I don’t know. He does it quite absently, like he is when he is talking to himself. As opposed to when he coos to us. So I think maybe he remembers the sign when he is hungry, without actually signing for us as such.

I’ll try to shoot a video and post it here, and you guys can tell me what you think.

Update: I tried this time when he did it, and he got distracted and started interacting with me…. So no go. Will try again when he does it.

Categories: baby development, baby sign language, development, infant communication, milestones.

Brillkids – does it work?

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November 18, 2009

early learningRecently, a friend asked me about my fascination with the Brillkids softwares. Does it actually work? They ARE very expensive!

The way I look at this is that the Brillkids softwares – both Little Reader and Little Math are tools. How effective they are depends on how well you use them. A committed parent could get more results out of chart paper and marker pens than one who gives up with the Brillkids Little Learner (as they are collectively called).

That said, they are infinitely better than that chart paper and much more convenient than flashcard sets. I’m trying to use flash cards with Nisarg and discovering that it is definitely a skill that takes serious honing. Take for example teaching him about family. What I’m doing is with many members of the family, but for the purposes of this example, lets take just Raka, me and Nisarg.

This resulted in 6 two sided picture and word flash cards. Mother, father and Nisarg in two languages and photos on the other side. Now, this still leaves space for Vidyut, Raka and baby, but that’s more cards. Close relatives I’d like him to learn are at least grandparents, uncle and aunts. Its a logistical nightmare to have physical cards, not to mention learning to flash them at a speed fast enough to lead to effective right brain learning.

That takes me to power point slideshows. At least Mistakes can be corrected painlessly. More than that, I can copy paste stuff to create the slide shows. With the addition of the Open Cards extension, I can flash them quite well too. Much better. There are several slideshows I can download, and creating new ones is easy enough. I can add sound files, so that anyone can show Nisarg his cards without worrying about what to say, when to flip and so on.

The next stage in this journey is the Little Reader. I can add several audio files for a word, several images. So that each time it says Mother, it can speak in a different voice – Raka’s, my mother-in-law’s, mine… and show different photos of me. Entertaining and holds his interest and can be set up really fast for the variety it outputs. Not to mention that I don’t need to create a thing to teach him body parts (for example). The community shares files. I can benefit from someone else’s efforts as others can benefit frommine. 10 people can teach kids 10 things for the effort of one. Plus I can add videos, create playlists and there are even lesson plans that I can simply play directly, when I don’t have the time to invest in planning all that.

I have ended up discovering stuff on some subject by downloading a file for Nisarg.

I am a busy person. This kind of quality and ease of use makes it far more interesting and sustainable in the long term for me.

As for Little Math…. Beats flashcards a million times over. You have to have used the physical number cards to know how awkward they are to handle, let alone “flash”, major learning curve and not particularly exciting for me. Creating cards or powerpoints with quantities to 100….. forget it.

Powerpoint is still good if you can lay your hands on some of the ready files for 100 numbers. Of course Open Cards flashes them for you. If you want to show random cards….. Numbers and dots mixed…. or anything different, you first gotta hunt a file for it, unless you have the patience to create it yourself. In which case, Pleeeease send me a copy?

And Little Math? Hold on to your seat. Show dots, images, customize to use pink panthers and blue trucks, or whatever your child enjoys watching in the place of dots. Show in sequence, randomize, with audio, placed random or in grids, ….. and I haven’t even started talking about equations and fractions and stuff.

So? Does it work? Works for me!

Categories: baby development, learning resource, recommended.

Communication Development at 7 weeks old?

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October 26, 2009

I find myself communicating with Nisarg very easily. He is just 7 weeks old. If I have to look back and see what helped me the most, the single biggest thing was observation. Endless observation. Listening. Endless listening.

I found myself constantly putting myself in his shoes and trying to understand the context of his expressions and sounds. He is less than two months old, but I can confidently tell when he is hungry, tired, in pain, excited, scared, etc. Its less easy for him to understand me, but its clear that he understands a couple of things. The first is the most important – he can count on me. The second is more “provable”. He mimics me. He gets it clearly when I make a face and want him to imitate it. He will often attempt after I say “you try it” or similar.

He astounded his massage woman by consistently sticking his tongue out to say “bye” as she left, since she swaddled him and he can’t wave (not that he can if not swaddled). First couple of days, she and the mother in law thought it was coincidence – “babies stick their tongues out all the time”. Sure. But what if they stick it out after you have stuck yours out when they had their mouths firmly closed? We did it and showed, and we still show our tongue on demand. Will post a video.

So far, he will make an “o” with his lips, stick his tongue out, open his mouth wide (convenient for medicines), and tries but can’t wiggle his brows (he frowns).

On a more useful, but less fun vein, he will cry loudly in a certain way when he wants to pee, hold eye contact and make restless movements with his head to burp, and many other actions that I could write down and anyone can confirm. My husband called me when I’d gone to the shop saying that he was crying and wouldn’t stop – kicking out, arching, pulling up his knees…. was he hungry? What to do? Its a sign of his belief in my understanding Nisarg that he asked when I couldn’t really see or hear him. Just the description was enough. Poor baby had gas stuck. Told Raka to put him down, raise his legs and if that didn’t work, pick him, keep changing positions (from one hand to another, on lap, etc) but always horizontal and with legs in the fetal position.

Raka says the baby was relieved almost immediately. Another instance was when I was cooking and heard Nisarg cry. I yelled for Raka to get him to the wash basin for a pee immediately, and that was that.

And I have plans. Plans to help him share more of his world with me. I’m hoping to establish basic yes/no signals. No is easy, crying or frowning, but the yes can be tricky. He needs to realize that he can approve of something and I will pay attention. Well… maybe in a week or two….

Communication makes life much easier for both mother and child. And its not rocket science. All it takes is patience, experimentation and observation. So here is what you can do the next time your baby is telling you something you can’t understand:

  • Make a guess. You’d be surprised at how much you have noticed without noticing yourself noticing (couldn’t resist)
  • Respond based on that guess.
  • Observe your baby. What was the impact of your response? Did the original behaviour change? Become more specific? End? What happened?
  • More than the first behaviour and the new one, its the change and when it happened that’s the key.
For example, baby may be staring at your face. You respond by turning so that more light falls on your face. Baby may wave his hand in your direction – so your guess that he was “exploring your face” was correct. I sometimes even praise Nisarg for telling me so clearly when something really “clicks” because of this team work. Or, baby may whimper – okay, wrong guess – what could it be? Could he want something? You could ask him that and it becomes a response. Maybe he wanted attention and talk and he will quiet. Maybe he is hungry and will start crying louder when he sees you doing things, but not what he wants….
Soon, you get really quick with this.
This is the failsafe method for communication development with your baby. Even a couple of hours have the power to transform your relationship, and you don’t have to do anything drastically different from what you do.

Categories: baby development, infant communication, tips.