A doctor from Pune has stopped charging for the deliveries of girls or treatments. I think it is a brilliant stand to take.
Pune doctor stops charging fees for delivering girl child following Beed infanticide http://t.co/rLPJ4NFy bravo! May your tribe increase!
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
The reason for it is sad though. I was reminded of the time when I was in the maternity home for the birth of my son. Two girls were born (and other boys too) and they remained in my mind for a long time because of the difference in how they were received by their families.
When I was in hospital for delivering N, 2 girls were born. 1 was born when I was in labour. Huge crowd of relatives. Festive mood.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
Day before discharged, another girl was born. Total mourning. Mother was 'too upset' to breastfeed. I almost asked them to give her to me.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
I wanted a girl. But my sweetie changed my mind at first sight. Didn't ask for refund :p almost changed mind back seeing that ignored girl.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
Her family mostly left her to the nurses. They gave her any milk. I wanted to slap her mother and whole family. How can you hate a baby?
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
That first girl had a full mela of non stop visitors till doctors had to scold. The other lay there untouched.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
Late at night, I used to chat with the staff. I used to hold her and walk the corridor talking nonsense. Her mom didn't mind. Didn't care.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
While I was in labour, the father's aunt was so happy and emotional, she had tears in her eyes. Joy. I hugged her. She was overjoyed.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
How can a girl have such different welcomes into the world? 🙁
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut Girls will only be there to tc of the 'mourners' until death! 😐 🙂
— Arthi Vijay (@cocoa_beanish) January 22, 2013
And the staff sees these things. They hate the mothers who hate girl babies. At least the ones I spoke with. They felt sorry for that girl.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut what happ to that baby finally ?
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut my daughter was the first grandchild in the family after 5 boys. The entire family rejoiced and I have a 23 yo brat!!! I LOVE her!!!
— Ajay Widge (@awidge) January 22, 2013
I don't know. I got discharged. Got busy with my own. RT @aparna639: @Vidyut what happ to that baby finally ?
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
What I really remember is eating dinner with the low caste staff (I know because they told me), listening to their anger with that family.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
They told me they were low caste, because I was sharing dinner with them. They didn't want problems later. I didn't have a problem. I ate.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut Upper or lower caste? Like I find that caste the most ridiculous word on this planet but I wd like to know. Does caste matter?
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut #girlchild: I had a girl already. When second girl born, I was away but asked my wife to go for TT operation but docs refused.
— RamVilas Katare (@rvkatare) January 22, 2013
Funny how a tiny baby penis can be the difference between festivity and mourning. The trees we see in the seeds. Who knows the future?
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut I was ecstatic when my daughter was born. Wanted a baby girl so bad. She is a happy trooper 🙂
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@vidyut Llittle girl stuck with u. Thanks for sharing. Don't know why there's such diff in their welcome. Def feel blessed 5 girls in my fam
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut At 60, my grandmother was upset I was born; after 23 yrs, I have her love n affection finally 🙂 She finally understood 🙂
— Arthi Vijay (@cocoa_beanish) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut The mental divide will always exist.
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
Also, we feel pain for that abandoned girl. What about the boy who would be abandoned without that detail? What is his worth as a person?
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
It has to go, you know? The babies were all adorable. Though mine was cuter :p RT @aparna639: @Vidyut The mental divide will always exist.
— Vidyut (@Vidyut) January 22, 2013
@24x7chocoholic @Vidyut well I am 25 and hoping one day, my parents will appreciate their 5 daughters, glad you reached ur destination
— Ayesha (@ashsultana) January 22, 2013
@vidyut Dad gave great advice: Always find a man (husband) who has a sister because he will always know how to treat a woman. #girlchild
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 22, 2013
@Vidyut Son is difficult to handle. He is 14. Maybe becoz he is a teenager. But well mannered at least his teacher says so *phew*
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@ashsultana @Vidyut 🙂 They will… Def! It is just a matter of time! The older they become, the more they will look up to the 5 of u!
— Arthi Vijay (@cocoa_beanish) January 22, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC @vidyut absolutely true. Hubby's family come from other side of the fence. Think boys are gems. Girls in family are smarter.:)
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@deardidi_ksc @vidyut Everytime girls in family do good, I feel like telling my inlaws " in your face" 🙂
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 22, 2013
@ashsultana @Vidyut My mum has a severe back condition:'I have an only girl who is ready to tc of me; had I had a son, I doubt the same :)'
— Arthi Vijay (@cocoa_beanish) January 22, 2013
@24x7chocoholic I dont know if they will or if they wont 🙂 I just hope when that time comes I am not totally indifferent to them 🙂 @Vidyut
— Ayesha (@ashsultana) January 22, 2013
@24x7chocoholic Point taken but it ended up with what you can provide for them and not who you are, huge difference IMO @Vidyut
— Ayesha (@ashsultana) January 22, 2013
@aparna639 @vidyut Parents always said that it's always the daughters that take care of & who can be counted on when u need them. #girlchild
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 22, 2013
@ashsultana @Vidyut They will realise it as soon as they observe how some sons treat their parents 🙂 towards 30s and post-marriage 🙂
— Arthi Vijay (@cocoa_beanish) January 22, 2013
@ecineko @vidyut there is just no comparison to the love and affection that a daughter gives. I truly feel blessed!!!
— Ajay Widge (@awidge) January 22, 2013
@aparna639 @vidyut Well known fact that girls in my family are smarter! 😛 I love boys 2 They just must be respectful, loving & supportive!
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 22, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC Seems more of a problem in some parts of India, rather than with Indians. Not seen such discrimination outside India @vidyut
— Dipu (@dipu412) January 22, 2013
@d_pujara @vidyut Sadly also issue out of India Discrimination doesn't recognize borders Try 2 change w/ #LohriForHer to celebrate girls too
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 22, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC incorrect generalization. @Vidyut
— S (@TrianguluM33) January 22, 2013
@triangulum33 @vidyut For me isn't a generalization. Gone from my dad & his support to my husband w/ two sis. Take a 2nd look at men w/ sis.
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC One cant derive conc. from anecdotal evd. From what I have seen, I might erroneously conclude most women r goldiggers @Vidyut
— S (@TrianguluM33) January 23, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC @triangulum33 @vidyut Works either ways. Hubby has 1 bro-No sister. Patriarchal family. MIL servile. Wd sis make diff? Dunno!
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 23, 2013
@aparna639 @triangulum33 @vidyut It was advice that rang true for me. May not be everyone. There's a saying we marry men like our fathers 2
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@deardidi_ksc @triangulum33 @vidyut I came from single child family. Outlook totally different. Encouraged to excel. Being a girl no bar!
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 23, 2013
@DearDIDI_KSC @triangulum33 @vidyut I didn't. Back then, I was a rebel. Now realize, my dad is really the best. Couldn't ask for better. 🙂
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 23, 2013
@aparna639 @triangulum33 @vidyut Really our own point of reference is all we have. Parents always thought I was smart & listened
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@aparna639 @triangulum33 @vidyut Own point of reference is all we have. Parents always thought I was smart & listened. Didn't matter if girl
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@TrianguluM33 @deardidi_ksc @vidyut I think career helps. Mom 12th pass. But grew from typist to manager for IOCL. MIL=No edu=subdugation.
— Aparna (@aparna639) January 23, 2013
@aparna639 @triangulum33 @vidyut Edu important I was 1st to go to Uni in a family of 6 kids. Had to fight for it since breaking new ground.
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@TrianguluM33 @aparna639 @vidyut Parents illiterate Didn't value edu since wasn't important in fam. Since was top of class knew I wanted 2go
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
@aparna639 @triangulum33 @vidyut Thanks for a great convo. Diff perspectives & experiences. Appreciate u sharing. Food for thought for blog.
— K. Saran Caldwell (@DearDIDI_KSC) January 23, 2013
I had a similar experience when my daughter was born. A patient in the hospital had a miscarriage. She’d had 3 daughters and miscarried her first son. I spoke to her and she said her family was angry because she couldn’t carry the boy baby to full term. No family came. Not even her husband. They just left her alone. She cried quietly all the time. She walked home alone from the hospital, carrying a basket that held all her belongings.
That sucks 🙁