It is quite easily accepted these days to immediately attend to a crying infant. However, some don’t and it has nothing to do with the infant and everything to do with what the crying does to us…. Here are some incidents from our family.
Let me begin with saying that sheer over-exposure has made me not be too concerned with everyday crying and see it more as communication, but one night of inconsolable screaming can reduce me to begging, bribing, running to “God” (pediatrician)….
My father owns outright that he can’t bear to see Nisarga cry. When Nisarga was a couple of days old, he was hovering over my shoulder begging me not to tie him so “tightly”, and make him cry… I was like, hey, this isn’t tight. Watch him get his hands out in two minutes flat. And he kept talking over my shoulder all through, pleading on behalf of this little screamer as though I was out to do him deliberate harm and was intentionally making him cry. Talk about co-piloting motherhood.
Raka approaches crying like the UN negotiating a peace deal. He will pretty much talk outrageously submissive, offer all kinds of options for his son, if only he will agree to peace…. If that doesn’t work, he decides Nisarg wants his mom and hands him over like he is a lethal weapon.He has even put the crying infant down a couple of times rather than hold him till I come.
When Raka’s mom hears the baby cry, she tells me to first calm him down…. as though I’m letting him cry on purpose if I can stop it easily? lol. This is the woman who used to tell me that babies shouldn’t get picked up every time they cry….. that was before her precious grandson was born 😀
I think the only one of us who is really anchored in reality is my mom. She meets him rarely, but she sees his crying exactly for what it is. Something is not okay at this moment for him. No panic, nothing. Unsurprisingly, he never cries with her (so far).
So, what are your stories? How does your baby’s crying shake the people who love him?